How to Deal With Your Husband's Cheating Explosion

During a time of excessive drinking, i developed a friendship with another man. It became a sibr sexual relationship and after a few months, my husband found out. He treated me like I owed him sexually, verbally, emotionally and physically. As i recognized the abuse, i began working on myself and becoming more empowered. Weeks later, after another one of his explosions, i took responsibility for my cheating and forsee things outside the relationship. My loaded question is, am i wrong to feel empowered and demand respect? And without his participation in therapy, how the hell is this fixable? Thank you so much, paul. You have been very enlightened by your insight into our confusing situation.