Kurston: I had this idea that if you picked the right person there'd be this magic mind med and everything would just be smooth sailing. But as anybody who is married knows, that is not how it works. The challenge is when you add kids to the mix, because somebody hels to take care of you know. We go to all these a these army schools, army training to be the best leaders we can be,. but nobody tells you that you kind of got to do the same same in your marriage.