How to Deal With the Sham of Your Mother's Presence

The shame that you're experiencing is not based on your own values, but on somebody else's. You have to decide for yourself if you agree with the message of shame that is holding you back. So in acola's case, she has obviously chosen to have premarital sex. And this all points to that she has made a choice based on her values. It sounds like christian, that the sex that you're having is loving. The more you send your brain train down those tracks, the more it will easily slide into that pattern every time you encounter this situation. But what it takes is the repeated action of replacing the messages with your own value statements.