Navigating Parental Emotions in ABA

When it comes to Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), much of the focus is often placed on data collection, program goals, and measurable outcomes for the child. But what about the parents? Supporting caregivers is a critical, and sometimes overlooked, component of effective ABA services. In a recent podcast episode, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Valencia Harper, a seasoned clinician from Apollo Behavior, to talk about her thoughtful approach to working with families.

Long-time listeners may remember Valencia from our Apollo Case Study Series, where she and her colleagues discussed mentoring new practitioners. This time around, we shifted gears to focus on her insights into caregiver collaboration—and the conversation did not disappoint.

From Smoothies to Strategy: Valencia’s Journey

Valencia opened up about her own career beginnings, including a memorable (and messy) first day involving a smoothie spill. That moment, though humbling, marked the start of a journey that led her to become the confident and effective BCBA she is today.

Through years of experience, she has developed a deep appreciation for the unique challenges parents face—and a toolkit for meeting them with empathy, clarity, and respect.

What Parents Really Need from ABA Providers

Throughout the episode, Valencia shared key insights into how BCBAs can better support the families they serve. Here are a few highlights from our discussion:

1. Listening Builds Rapport

Rather than jumping into solutions, Valencia emphasizes the power of active listening. Parents often come to the table with a wealth of experience and emotion. Taking time to truly hear them builds trust and sets the tone for collaboration.

2. BCBAs Don’t Have to Know Everything

It can be tempting to feel like we have to have all the answers. But Valencia reminds us that being transparent about what we don’t know—while showing a commitment to learning—can strengthen relationships rather than weaken them.

3. Prioritize Parental Concerns

Instead of sticking strictly to what the data says, Valencia encourages clinicians to take parent priorities seriously. If bedtime battles or sibling conflicts are top of mind for the family, addressing those concerns can lead to more engagement and faster progress.

4. Clarify ABA Jargon

Parents may struggle with technical terms or misunderstand the purpose of certain procedures. Valencia discusses how breaking things down into digestible language helps reduce frustration and builds empowerment.

5. Combat Learned Helplessness

Some caregivers come into services feeling defeated or disconnected. Valencia talks about how to gently challenge that mindset and offer small, achievable strategies that rebuild parental confidence.

6. Teach How to Set Limits

Supporting families doesn’t stop with behavior plans. Valencia shares tips for coaching parents on how to set clear, developmentally appropriate limits without escalating the situation.

7. Responding to "We've Already Tried That"

This common phrase can be frustrating for clinicians, but Valencia reframes it as an opportunity to validate parents’ experiences and reintroduce strategies with better context or support.

Inside Apollo’s Approach to Caregiver Training

Valencia also gave us a behind-the-scenes look at how Apollo Behavior structures its caregiver support. From structured training sessions to informal check-ins, their model integrates parent collaboration as a core component of service delivery—not an afterthought.

Resources Mentioned in the Episode

If you're looking to dive deeper into the themes we discussed, here are a few recommended reads and links from the show:

• Apollo Behavior
• Valencia Harper on LinkedIn
• Tiny Humans, Big Emotions: How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children―An Essential Guide for Caregivers of Children from Infancy to Age Eight.
• Managing Meltdowns and Tantrums on the Autism Spectrum.
• Clinical Interviewing, 7th Edition.
• AIM: Accept, Identify, Move.

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