How to Talk to People Directly Instead of Talking About Them

We've all had the experience of hearing something about ourselves that the source is someone whom we otherwise trustor or like. Hearing that from a third party and that it came from this person that you trust or like oes often really devastating to relationships. I feel like there are so many opportunities for us to slip into that behavior that it's just really important to see if we can find a way to talk directly to people.