LZ Granderson: It's hard for us today to realize that our assumptions about what marriage is are so strongly situated in our cultural and historical moment. LZ: Even just in the US, I find one tool that's useful for thinking about how different things are is to go back a couple centuries and think about the moment when Abraham Lincoln was born. The breadwinner homemaker love-based vision of marriage,. which for a long time, people aspired to, was thought of basically as a recipe for heaven on earth. But starting around the 1960s, call it something like 65, you get this vast cultural upheaval. Women especially felt stifled in their roles. So love stays
The science is crystal clear, deep, genuine, healthy and enduring relationships are at the center of a well-lived life. But, so often, it’s the long-term intimate partnerships that we take most for granted or give least attentiveness to. Just assuming they’ll keep on keeping on. Until they don’t. So how DO you keep your relationship with someone you hope to be a life partner not just alive, but truly rich and flourishing and nourishing and joyful? Especially over a period of years or, if you’re fortunate enough, decades? What’s the secret to maintaining passion and connection throughout the years?
That’s where we’re headed in this eye-opening conversation with professor Eli Finkel, as we dive deep into the world of romantic relationships. Eli is the author of the bestselling book The All-Or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work.
You'll discover:
- The surprising impact of engaging in exciting, out-of-the-ordinary activities on relationship satisfaction and passion.
- How to distinguish between activities that foster closeness and those that reignite desire.
- The unexpected benefits of breaking out of routines and embracing new challenges together.
And, lots more. During our conversation, we delve into the intricacies of maintaining passion in long-term relationships, discussing the importance of novelty, and exploring the potential benefits of breaking out of routines in the aftermath of the pandemic. Eli shares valuable insights on how couples can be deliberate about rebooting their relationships and resetting priorities, all while creating meaningful connections and lasting memories.
You can find Eli at: Website | Twitter
If you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Julie and John Gottman about love and marriage.
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