Mottadour's Viewing Figures Rose Last Week

There are two red buttons that any government can press in an emergency. One marks immigration, the other marks BBC. And last week, they both got pressed at the same time. Conservative MPs were delighted that last week, with no presenter and no commentary, MOTD's viewing figures rose. They all posted suspiciously similar tweets. Great edition of Mottadour. Much better without pundits and commentators telling me what on earth’s going on. All the action, no waffle, and best of all, all the tries. Hashtag first-time viewer. Oh, no, hang on!