I call it the slingshot effect because in the small towns when you're raising a sheltered kid. And I had lived in such a mundane existence in such a, a cloistered kind of place that when I got out and saw the world, I wanted to take everything in metaphorically and literally. At some point you start to drink excessively and you end up doing drugs. It seems to me like they were just unresolved issues from my childhood that kept it from being Recreational.