The Power of Choices

If we're just giving choices and the child doesn't actually ever feel that they have any measure of control, then it's missing the entire point. The goal is always to help the child feel heard, understood, and empowered. So if there isn't congruence with what you're actually trying to accomplish, kids are really keen on that and they pick up on those things. If a child's really upset that they can't do something and you don't have a look of concern on your face when you give the choice, it's incongruent. You have to be aware of yourself because your emotions, your face, your tone of voice, your body language, everything about