I'm a Monogamous Person and I Want to Experiment Sexually

I'm grieving the loss of any chance for me to experiment sexually and grow into myself before committing to one person for the rest of my life. Do you have any advice for someone who married way too quickly in their first relationship but regrets not doing more beforehand? I feel like an asshole typing this but part of that might be leftover religious shame so please help me understand if I'm just an ungrateful prick. You were dealt a hand to use your phrase that is very challenging and very controlling and very tangled. It's going to take you a long time to untangle this. That's what indoctrinated ideals do to us especially harmful ones. Oh my darling Jake fake name. I forgive