Which beards deserve recognition this week?

John Murray, Ian Dennis & Ali Bruce-Ball talk football, travel & language. They hear from Thomas Tuchel after leaving Bellingham, Foden & Grealish out of his England squad. Plus, John is ‘humbled’ by a commentary tattoo, and will anything join the ‘Cruyff Turn’ in Division One of the Great Glossary of Football Commentary? Get your suggestions in with WhatsApp voicenotes to 08000 289 369 & emails to TCV@bbc.co.uk

02:45 Ali has his car back! 06:05 Thomas Tuchel announces England squad, 13:50 Detailed beard analysis, 18:10 5 Live commentaries this weekend, 19:00 Forest fans turn on Ange Postecoglou, 21:05 Selhurst Park adorned with 5 Live quotes, 22:30 John ‘humbled’ by commentary tattoo, 23:35 Can Crystal Palace win the Premier League? 26:20 Ali vs Ian in Clash of the Commentators, 33:00 The Great Glossary of Football Commentary.

BBC Sounds / 5 Live Premier League commentaries: Sat 1500 Arsenal v West Ham, Sat 1500 Man Utd v Sunderland on Sports Extra, Sat 1730 Chelsea v Liverpool, Sun 1400 Newcastle v Forest, Sun 1400 Everton v Palace on Sports Extra Sun 1400 Aston Villa v Burnley on BBC Sport website & app, Sun 1400 Wolves v Brighton on BBC Sport website & app, Sun 1630 Brentford v Man City.

Glossary so far:

DIVISION ONE Bosman, Cruyff Turn, Onion bag, Panenka, Rabona, Where the kookaburra sleeps, Where the owl sleeps, Where the spiders sleep.

DIVISION TWO Daisycutter, Howler, One for the cameras, Played us off the park, Purple patch, Root and branch review, Row Z, Taking one for the team, That’s great… (football), Thunderous strike.

UNSORTED 2-0 is a dangerous score, After you Claude, All-Premier League affair, Aplomb, Bag/box of tricks, Brace, Brandished, Breaking the deadlock, Bundled over the line, Champions elect / champions apparent, Clinical finish, Commentator’s curse, Coupon buster, Cultured/Educated left foot, Denied by the woodwork, Draught excluder, Elimination line, Fellow countryman, Foot race, Formerly of this parish, Fox in the box, Free hit, Goalkeepers’ Union, Goalmouth scramble, Good touch for a big man, Honeymoon Period, In and around, In the shop window, Keeping ball under their spell, Keystone Cops defending, Languishing, Loitering with intent, Marching orders, Nestle in the bottom corner, Numbered derbies, Nutmeg, Opposite number, Park the bus, PK for penalty-kick, Postage stamp, Put it in the mixer, Put their laces through it, Rasping shot, Red wine not white wine, Relegation six-pointer, Rooted at the bottom, Route One, Roy of the Rovers stuff, Sending the goalkeeper the wrong way, Shooting boots, Sleeping giants, Slide rule pass, Small matter of, Spiders web, Stayed hit, Steepling, Stinging the palms, Stonewall penalty, Straight off the training ground, Stramash, Taking one for the team, Team that likes to play football, Throw their cap on it, Thruppenny bit head / 50p head, Towering header, Two good feet, Turning into a basketball match, Turning into a cricket score, Usher/Shepherd the ball out of play, Walking a disciplinary tightrope, Wand of a left foot, We’ve got a cup tie on our hands, Winger in their pocket, Wrap foot around it, Your De Bruynes, your Gundogans etc.