Shner: People aren't comfortable with the ask. They feel uncomfortable asking for whatever it is that they want. If you can get comfortable in the ask for like small, stupid things, when there's a big thing that you really want, you'll be much more comfortable to ask for it. It's not about what you say; it's how you say it,. Like I don't get offended by being matched or anybody can say you can see anything you want to me. But if it's done in a nice way, that's like kind of not like dick or an asshole.