Is Your Argument a Pretender?

If i have a motive to serve the other person, and i detect that within myself, then out of that flows sort of the right presentation. And i find that does lead to a kind of cessful exchange where it's not coming across pretentious. But if i say, ah, you know, looks like am the only way your argument could be valid is if your presupposing this premise, which is obviously false? Well,  that's going to give a different feeling if you say that. Ah, that that's very powerful. I mean, it leads to progress, where every s learning something.