Peaceful Parenting for PDA Kids: Compassionate Strategies That Help Them Thrive
ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast
PDA across the lifespan
Kate asks about PDA in adults; Casey explains cumulative activation, window of tolerance, and accommodations like unschooling.
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), pervasive drive for autonomy, is a deeply misunderstood and often overlooked profile within the neurodivergent spectrum. For many families, living with PDA can feel confusing, isolating, and emotionally overwhelming, especially when traditional parenting approaches seem to make things harder, not easier.
In this powerful episode, I’m joined by Dr. Casey Ehrlich, a researcher, coach, and mother to two PDA children, who brings both personal insight and professional expertise to help us reframe what’s really going on beneath the behaviours.
If you’ve ever been told your child is “oppositional” or “defiant,” or your child resists even basic everyday requests, from brushing their teeth to getting dressed, or you're exhausted from trying to get it “right,” and you’re starting to question the very foundations of what parenting is “supposed” to look like...
This conversation is for you.
With the right support and education, children with PDA can thrive. And as parents, we can begin to feel more resourced, more connected, and far less alone in supporting our kids.
Tickets to our first LIVE ADHD Women's Wellbeing Event are ON SALE!
Click here to book your ticket for a full day of community, connection, awareness and growth.
Key Takeaways:
- Why Casey prefers the term "pervasive drive for autonomy"
- How PDA can override even basic needs like eating, hygiene and safety
- Why traditional parenting approaches often backfire and what to try instead
- The four observable PDA traits: survival drive for autonomy, equalising, masking, and need for undivided attention
- How PDA differs from Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)
- What nervous system dysregulation looks like in PDA children and how to support it
- The emotional toll on parents and how to care for yourself too
- How animals can support emotional regulation for PDA kids
- What PDA can look like in adulthood (and why it's often misread as narcissism or avoidance)
Timestamps
- 07:01: A Deep Dive into Pervasive Drive for Autonomy
- 12:22: Understanding Oppositional Defiance and PDA
- 18:13: The Journey of Parenting Neurodivergent Children
- 23:34: A Paradigm Shift to Parenting PDA Kids
- 26:51: Understanding PDA and Burnout
- 35:57: Nervous System Activation in Parenting and Adult Life
- 41:21: The Impact of PDA on Relationships
- 47:54: Navigating Parental Challenges
Tickets to our first LIVE ADHD Women's Wellbeing Event are ON SALE!
We're so excited to be offering you a full day of real-life connection, calm, and community for late-diagnosed women ready to feel understood, supported, and seen.
Kate will be joined by two ADHD expert guest speakers, Hannah Miller and Dr Hannah Cullen!
You can expect:
- Honest, thoughtful, informative conversations
- Connection with like-minded, late-diagnosed ADHD women
- Information on hormones, energy levels and nervous system regulation
- A space to come back to yourself, with women who truly get it
Event details: Friday, March 6th 2026, 10:00 am – 3:30 pm in Wilmslow (near Manchester).
Book your ticket or find out more information here!
Join the More Yourself Community - the doors are now open!
More Yourself is a compassionate space for late-diagnosed ADHD women to connect, reflect, and come home to who they really are. Sign up here!
Inside the More Yourself Membership, you’ll be able to:
- Connect with like-minded women who understand you
- Learn from guest experts and practical tools
- Receive compassionate prompts & gentle reminders
- Enjoy voice-note encouragement from Kate
- Join flexible meet-ups and mentoring sessions
- Access on-demand workshops and quarterly guest expert sessions
To join for £26 a month, click here. To join for £286 for a year (a whole month free!), click here.
We’ll also be walking through The ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Toolkit together, exploring nervous system regulation, burnout recovery, RSD, joy, hormones, and self-trust, so the book comes alive in a supportive community setting.
Links and Resources:
- Find my popular ADHD workshops and resources on my website [here].
- Buy a copy of The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Toolkit [here].
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: @adhd_womenswellbeing_pod
- Visit Casey's website: www.atpeaceparents.com
Kate Moryoussef is a women's ADHD lifestyle and wellbeing coach and EFT practitioner who helps overwhelmed and unfulfilled newly diagnosed ADHD women find more calm, balance, hope, health, compassion, creativity and clarity.
Today's episode sponsors: The ADHD Weasel
The ADHD Weasel is a weekly email delivering support straight to your inbox for just $10/month at adhdweasel.com.
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