Family Systems - What's the Difference Between Fairness and Responsibility?

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The first thing that I would highlight is what I'll call sense of belonging. The family becomes a part of your identity, and members feel like they are a part of it. Then connected to that fairness, you see fairness in most relatively healthy families. A sign of security, which might be its own value, is open lines of communication. And then maybe finally, this is sort of a wild card I was thinking of, is flexibility because the only constant is change.

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners related to how we can build better relationships (particularly with our families) and deal with difficult people. They explore the common traits of happy families, how to deal with people who weaponize psychological jargon, navigating different perceptions of “what happened,” and repairing a damaged relationship with a child. Forrest ends the conversation by talking about the importance of “going to zero” after a breach of trust.

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Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:00: Question 1: Common characteristics of happy families

8:25: Differentiation and integration

10:55: Symptoms of a less healthy family system

12:15: The role of love

19:55: Question 2: What to do when people use psychological jargon during a conflict

26:00: Defending yourself effectively, and staying on topic

30:50: Question 3: Navigating different perceptions of a difficult event

35:45: Question 4: Healing a strained relationship with a child (or parent)

39:45: Functional repair before emotional vulnerability

46:45: “Going to zero” with behavior when repair is needed

56:10: Recap

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