Dr. Shefali specializes in the integration of Western psychology and Eastern philosophy and is an expert in family dynamics and personal development. She has written four books, three of which are New York Times best-sellers, including her two landmark books The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family.
She joins me for a brass tacks conversation about the Dos and Don’ts of parenting, and to share about her new book The Parenting Map which comes out on February 28th, 2023.
In this episode, we discuss:
- How to go from chaos, disconnection, and frustration to a place of deep bonding and clarity as a parent.
- The similarities between conscious (romantic) relationship work and conscious parenting.
- How your triggers with your child are a reminder of what you need to work on.
- The belief that our children are a possession, and the dangerous projection that follows.
- The problem with the old belief that “parents know what’s best for their children”.
- How parents tend to project their own fears, insecurities, and triggers onto their children.
- Having a child will bring up your own childhood issues.
- How spanking = hitting = suppression and shame in children.
- Parents as a safe space rather than a police force or judge and punisher.
- The 3 reasons kids misbehave:
- 1. Lack of Skill
- 2. Lack of experience
- 3. Lack of worth
- Fear/Control mentality VS abundance/love mentality.
- The NBC Method: Negotiation, Boundaries, and Consequences.
- The problem with force feeding children and forcing them to do things they don’t want to do.
- Home as a safe space VS a house of rules.
- Natural consequences - allowing life to teach your children.
- How to teach children to know their inner “yes” and “no” so they can trust themselves as adults.
- The value of remembering that children will be adults one day and will remember how you treat them.
- Connection as the crucial ingredient in governing children’s behaviour.
- Why showing a child your feelings is so powerful.
Dr Shefali’s Links:
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