The Refusal to Forgive Is a Move in the Game

The idea of advising some one to do this suggests that you see them as not being self sufficient. And that undermines the thought that they would be in a position to do so. The request to forgive is itself a move in the game, and it's often an incoherent move in theGame. I think you can forgive when you can sustain the norm without the help of the other person.