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Before we begin, it may help to name the kind of territory we’re entering—because this essay (or episode) is all about paradoxes and polarities.
A paradox is two things that seem to oppose each other but are both true. Similarly, a polarity is a pair of truths that don’t cancel each other out—they balance each other.
You experience this every day. You can want independence and connection at the same time. You can feel confident in one moment and insecure in the next. You can love someone deeply and still feel frustrated by them.
Wisdom traditions say this is not a mistake. This is what being human feels like.
The Zen tradition captures the sentiment beautifully in a single line:
“You are perfect just as you are…
and you could use a little improvement.”
At first, it sounds impossible.
But it points to something essential:
- You are whole—and you’re still becoming.
- You are worthy—and you’re unfinished.
- You have goodness in you—and you have a shadow too.
Paradox isn’t a problem to solve.
It’s a tension to live in.
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