Trigger Warning: This conversation includes a deeply personal story shared by André Holland, including a moment when someone he had affections for used a racial slur toward him. Listener discretion is advised.

What happens when a core memory rewrites the story of how we see ourselves in love? In this week’s LOVERS episode, Shan sits down with actor André Holland to explore the pivotal memory that shaped his belief that he was never “good enough” as himself—and that he had to become someone “better” to be loved.

They unpack how these deeply rooted emotional imprints steer our relationships—sometimes helping us, but often holding us back. André’s story reveals how early wounds can guide not just who we choose, but how we let love in.

Whether you’re single, partnered, or somewhere in between, this episode is a powerful guide to:

uncovering the underlying stories behind your intimacy
rewriting beliefs that no longer serve you
opening the door to deeper, more authentic connection

🎬 About Love, Brooklyn
Want more from André Holland? Be sure to check out his new film, Love, Brooklyn now playing in theaters. It will be available for streaming too!

Stay up-to-date and follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lovebrooklynmovie/

For more on André be sure to follow him on Instagram: http://instagram.com/andreholland

Want more Lover?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com
Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes

Metamodernism or the Cultural Logic of Cultural Logics

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