The Impossible Return

The Impossible Return is a hybrid work of cancer memoir, psychoanalytic theory, and Soviet history that explores the author's experience with breast cancer through the lens of mourning, loss, and identity.

Fishzon weaves together her personal narrative of mastectomy and reconstruction with psychoanalytic concepts—particularly the uncanny, shame, and the impossibility of fully mourning what has been lost—while drawing connections to her late Soviet Ukrainian childhood and her deep engagement with opera.

The book examines how the reconstructed breast becomes an uncanny double, how the prosthetic oscillates between absence and presence, and how cancer survivorship involves living with "scanxiety" and perpetual waiting.

Through this autotheoretical approach, Fishzon explores broader questions about memory as scar tissue, the relationship between voice and embodiment, and what she calls the "terribly obscure utopian" work of psychoanalysis—asking the impossible of both analyst and patient, much like perestroika's call for reconstruction.

The work treats cancer survival not as a triumph narrative but as an ongoing, repetitive process of attempting to mourn something that remains fundamentally unmournable.