One of the most inevitable questions that comes with early adulthood is also one of the most fraught: “When are you having kids?”

The question is loaded with assumptions and pressure. It also seems to ignore the fact that having kids is supposed to be a choice, not a requirement.

For neurodivergent people, especially those with ADHD, deciding whether to become a parent can be even more complex.

On this episode of “Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson,” we talk with author and editorial director Jordan Davidson. She’s interviewed hundreds of people about their decision on whether to become a parent.

Related resources

Timestamps

(03:06) What inspired Jordan’s book

(08:35) Jordan’s findings from hundreds of interviews

(12:28) How to break schemas attached to parenthood

(24:28) The fantasy of the “idealized parent”

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Hyperfocus page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at hyperfocus@understood.org.

ADHD Unstuck is a free, self-guided activity from Understood.org and Northwestern University designed to help women with ADHD boost their mood and take small, practical steps to get unstuck. In about 10 minutes, learn why mood spirals happen and get a personalized action plan of quick wins and science-backed strategies that work with your brain. Give it a try at Understood.org/GetUnstuck.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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So When Are You Having Kids

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